Even For a Little While
by happygirl57
Summary: Even if it was for a little while,they would make ends of the Earth meet for Logan because he deserved it even though he refused to believe it.They would take his pain away and let him forget about it...even if it was for a little while. Happy bday Caitee


**So guess whose birthday is today? MY LOGIE TWINS'! Okay so I know majority of you have no idea who I'm talking about... but it's Caitee's (aka asdfghjklblah) 14th birthday! She is one of the sweetest, nicest, coolest, funniest people I've ever talked to and I just love her. She hasn't had it easy and yet she always manages to listen to me vent and help me. I'm only hoping I do the same for you, Caitee. Thank you for being such an amazing friend. I love you so much and I hope your birthday is full of joy, laughter and love. I really hope you like this even though I haven't written friendship in a long time... so hopefully it didn't come out TOO horrible. **

**Oh and before I forget... Thank you to Chanson aka BTR'slovesong for helping me play with this idea! Haha.  
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**AN: No, I do not own Big Time Rush. If I did, I would give them to Caitee for her birthday. Haha. :)**

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><p>You know that split moment in time when you feel like everything freezes and then when you least expect it, the world comes back crashing down on you? That moment when you feel as if everything is going wrong for you until you realize it's only going to get worse as the day goes on? That's how he, Logan Mitchell, felt everyday. Only for him it wasn't all of a sudden. Everyone has pressure they have to carry on their shoulders and sometimes you are able to rid yourself of it and yet other times it keeps building up and up until it suffocates you. And he had reached the level of suffocation.<p>

He wanted to tell someone, he really did. He wanted someone to hold him in their arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Only it wasn't that simple. He was Logan Mitchell, best friend of Kendall Knight, James Diamond and Carlos Garcia, and he was supposed to be strong.

So he was... on the outside. On the outside he was as strong and powerful as his best friends. Those horrible bullies never laid a finger on him anymore and on the ice, he was the best player out there... right after Kendall. But the inside was another story. He cried to himself more times than he could keep track of. He yelled and screamed at himself more times than he could remember. He couldn't remember the amount of times he had trouble breathing and had a meltdown. He couldn't remember or maybe, he tried to forget. Because he, after all, was Logan Mitchell and he was supposed to be able to handle all the pressure.

All the times Gustavo yelled at him for not being perfect, all the times his parents called to not check up on him but to yell at him for his grades, and all the times his teachers piled up more and more work on him didn't help at all. _He just couldn't take it anymore._

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><p>Logan sighs, frustrated, and pushes his hands up into his face. It wasn't working. Why was he so stupid? He has been working on the same math problem throughout their entire thirty minute break and he still didn't understand it. Quite honestly, he wants nothing more than to rip the paper apart and forget about it.<p>

"Dog!" Logan whipped around to find Gustavo's red, boiling face right in his. "Are you done with your little math homework so we can get back to work?" Gustavo bellowed in an angry tone that made Logan almost cringe in fear.

"Y-yeah. Let's go." Logan slips out of his seat, avoiding Gustavo the entire way back into the studio. He joins Kendall, James and Carlos in the booth and puts on his headphones as he leans into the microphone.

_"__Do you ever wonder, when you listen to the thunder, And your world just feels so small," _Kendall sings flawlessly._  
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_"Put yourself on the line and time after time__, Keep feeling inside that they don't know you're alive, Are you out of mind or just invis-," _Logan sings but is cut off by Gustavo's yelling.

"Dog! Stop screwing it up! You're off key," he bellows.

Logan's heart sinks. He thought he was singing pretty good. He didn't understand Gustavo sometimes- why did he have to make everything to hard? Then again, everything had been seeming hard to Logan lately. He was tired and right now the last thing he needed was Gustavo's yelling.

"I- I..." he stutters. He was never one to stand up for himself. He always tended to lay low and avoid getting picked on as much as possible. But now there was no laying low from Gustavo. It was now or never and as much as Logan preferred never, he knew in his heart that it was now.

Gustavo glares at him. "What, dog?"

Logan sighs and shuts his eyes. "N-no, I wasn't. I- I thought I was singing pretty g-good."

"Fine! Again from the top, let's see what you're really made of."

_"__Do you ever wonder, when you listen to the thunder, And your world just feels so small," _Kendall sings flawlessly yet again._  
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_"Put yourself on the line and time after time__, Keep feeling inside that they don't know you're alive, Are you out of mind or just invis-," _Logan sings but yet again, is cut off by Gustavo's yelling.

"If you're going to keep singing like that then just get out. I don't want you here," Gustavo screams, pointing to the door.

Tears pool into Logan's chocolate brown as he struggles to breathe. "I'm sorry, I'll try harder," he begs.

"No, just get out. I don't need you right now."

"I'm sorry," Logan murmurs before hanging his head and pushing past his friends. He furiously wipes away the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and closes his eyes, trying to focus on breathing.

He's done. He's frustrated. He's tired. Logan gathers his books and runs out of Rocque Records. His legs are shaking uncontrollably but he doesn't stop. He can't stop. The aching in his chest from running feels too good.

The passing scenery is a blur. He nearly bumps into several people but he doesn't even bother to apologize. His head is spinning and black dots are covering his vision but all that's on his mind is getting home.

He doesn't know he gets there, but somehow he does. The black dots are covering nearly all of his vision and this time, he lets them. He collapses on his bed, letting the darkness over come him.

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><p>"Gustavo! What the hell?" Kendall yells, fuming that the older man would be so mean to the small teenager. He steps up towards him so that their noses are only inches apart. "What's wrong with you?" he spits out bitterly.<p>

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you dogs?"

"Okay, I don't know if you have noticed Gustavo but Logan hasn't exactly been himself lately. He's been having a hard time and you and your criticism aren't helping in the least bit."

"Well we have concerts coming up and he can't keep screwing all our rehearsals!"

"I don't think he means to, Gustavo. I'm just trying to stay calm but you're making it really hard. Everyone keeps making him feel worse and worse and guess what Gustavo? You better hope that you didn't push him over the edge or I swear..." Kendall threatens, still fuming. James places a hand on his shoulder, calming him down and keeping him from doing anything regretful.

Gustavo's face softens upon hearing that. "I didn't know that. I don't normally say this but... why don't you guys just head home? Oh, and tell Logan that I'm sorry."

Kendall, James and Carlos all share looks of shock. Did_ the_ Gustavo Rocque really just apologize and give them the rest of the day off? "Th-thanks Gustavo. It means a lot."

Then, before he can change his mind, all three guys throw together their equipment and race out of the studio, not walking until completely outside.

"Do you think Logan went home?" Carlos whimpers, thinking of their best friend who had so sorrowfully left. He huffs, adjusting the strap on his backpack as he tries to distract himself.

"I guess so. I feel bad for him... you know? Life hasn't been fair to him and he deserves so much better," James says.

"If we ever tell him that, he'll always deny it."

Kendall sighs, looking at the paved sidewalk intently. "I wish we could make it better." He looks up at the two of them before going inside the Palm Woods.

Minutes later, they walk into the apartment. They vaguely remember that Katie and Mrs. Knight were in San Francisco, visiting some family friends before rushing up to Kendall and Logan's shared room.

Logan lying down on his bed, face down and snoring away. "Aww, poor guy's exhausted," Kendall murmurs, running his fingers through Logan's spiked dark brown locks.

"Let's let him sleep," James whispers, slipping out of the room along with Kendall and Carlos.

They walk out into the living room, eerily quiet, something unusual for the boys. Carlos stares down at the floor, making circles with his foot, He leans against the bright orange couch once they reach the living room and stares at his friends. "Hey, his birthday's coming up. We should do something really nice for him. You know, to cheer him up!"

"That's an awesome idea, 'Litos," James praises, bumping fists with him.

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><p>The next week, on the day of Logan's birthday, everything is perfectly set up. Well... sort of. Carlos had managed to squash the birthday cake when he literally lid it across the counter, letting it hit the floor, and Kendall and James had managed to ruin a couple of Logan's presents when they fought over which one was from who. But there was no time to replace any of the presents or to go purchase a new cake because Logan was about to walk in the door any second. They had sent him off to a math lecture in hopes that it would keep him from hope for at least an hour and it had. In fact, it kept him out so long to the point where they didn't think he was even at the lecture anymore. He was gone for so long that they couldn't help but worry if he was okay or not.<p>

"Guys, this is getting ridiculous. Obviously, something's wrong. Let's go and try to find him," Kendall huffs, pacing back and forth in 2J.

"Well, where do think he is? It's seven at night and at this point, he could be anywhere."

"We have to try!" Carlos pleads, "I don't want him to do anything stupid."

"Let's just go. We'll drive around town and see what we can do," James says, tossing the car keys to Kendall.

Somehow, after nearly an hour after looking, they all find themselves at the ice rink. They had already looked at every other place possible; the park, Rocque Records, their favorite places to hang out and they had already thoroughly looked at 2J. This was their last hope before they called the police and filed a missing person report.

They look around the ice rink, praying that Logan is there because they were all losing hope.

"-," They turn their heads at the sound. It wasn't just a sound, it was crying- more importantly,_ Logan's_ crying. But why would he be here? They take off in search of the sound, trying to avoid running into a bleacher in the darkness.

They knew it was Logan was crying but they didn't expect him to look like this. He was curled up into a small ball and was shuddering with cries. He looked so vulnerable. His knees were pulled up to his chest as he sobbed violently into them.

"Buddy-," James says, reaching out for him. He squeezes his shoulder before gathering him up in his arms. "Buddy, you're going to make yourself sick. Calm down, _please_."

Logan wraps his arms around James and sobs into his shoulder.

"Logan, look at me," Kendall pleads, cupping Logan's face in his hands.

"Why are you crying, Logie?" Carlos whimpers, his bottom lip quivering. "Why are you sad? That makes me sad. It's your birthday, you should be happy!" He drops on his knees next to Logan, his puppy dog eyes bearing into Logan's. "What's wrong, Logan?" he whispers, turning serious.

"E-everything," he sniffles, wiping away the tears which seem to keep on returning. "I-I r-really don't kn-know what's wrong with m-me. W-why does ev-everyone keep telling me that I d-do everything wrong?"

"Logan, buddy, you know there's nothing wrong with you, right? You're amazing."

"Then, why don't I feel like it? W-why is everything I-I do wrong? Why d-does everyone try to make me feel w-worthless? Am I?" Logan cries, moving away from the three of them and bringing his knees back up to his chest again.

"Logan, no. You're amazing and you shouldn't think any different. All those people... I don't know what's wrong with them. Maybe they're jealous. But don't you dare think you're worthless, okay? You mean everything to us," Kendall soothes, looking at him.

He couldn't comprehend how Logan thought he was worthless. How could he even think that? Maybe because he couldn't see the good in himself or maybe because everyone else made him feel like that but Kendall was in shock. Logan was incredible... perfect even. If Kendall was honest, there was a little part of him that had always been jealous of Logan. He was smart, kind, good looking, a great athlete, a great performer, and somehow he always knew what to say. Secretly, he wanted to be more like Logan. Which is why it broke his heart to see Logan this way. Why Logan of all people had to suffer this much? Why wasn't life fair to him? Kendall wanted to take the pain away, he did, but he just didn't know how.

"Yeah?" Logan asks, his innocent eyes fluttering open and shut.

He couldn't completely believe them after everything had already happened to him but he was trying. To hear it from someone, for him, it meant the world. He suddenly felt a small burst of happiness inside. Someone... no, three people, actually believed that he was worth something. How? He didn't really know but the last thing he was going to do was question it. A small smile graces his pink lips as he thinks.

"Yeah." Kendall whispers, hugging Logan close. "Buddy, we love you. Even when times get tough, don't ever forget that. We'll always be there right with you."

"I know, I love you guys too," he whispers, dragging them all into a group hug.

"Logan, it's your birthday and we have a little surprise set up for you at the apartment. It's only a little- I wish we did more for you but...," James trails off.

Logan blinks at them in shock, a shy smile appearing on face. "You're kidding, right? First off, I didn't even realize it was my birthday until you guys brought it up and second, it doesn't matter what it is. What matters is that it came from you and that's never be just a little. Thank you."

"Logan, you really don't need to thank us. If anything, we should be thanking you for making our lives so much better. It was the least we could do. Now," Carlos says, wiping away the last of Logan's tears, "Let's go home."

So they did. They went home and tried everything in their power to get Logan to just have fun. They laughed and teased each other and all the while, Logan was able to forget about his worries. Kendall, James, and Carlos weren't superheroes. They were solely human. They couldn't save Logan all the time no matter how much they wanted to and they couldn't always take his pain and hurt away but they could be there for him. They could be Logan's shoulder for him to cry on and in return, he would do the same. They were best friends... you could say brothers even, and that was enough to relieve any stress and pressure on Logan's shoulders... even if it was for a little while. Even if it was for a little while, they would make ends of the Earth meet for Logan because he deserved it even though he refused to believe it. They would take his pain away and let him forget about it... even if it was for a little while. They loved each other and they were best friends and that was the one thing that would never just be for"a little while". That was the one thing that would last forever.

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><p><strong> AN: Um... so I haven't written solely friendship in literally months so I'm hoping that this didn't come out too horrible and if it did, I'm really sorry. But thank you for reading!<strong>

**And Caitee, I really do hope this came out the way I hoped it would... Angsty yet still sweet. I love you so much and again, thank you for being such an amazing friend. Come on... SMILE! It's your birthday!**

**Okay, in your review, tell me what you love about her (or her stories)! GO! Haha. :)**


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